Opinions Are Like..

A friend and I were enjoying a sunny getaway on a mountain of green grass. I regrettably let out a sigh that encouraged the following:

"Whats the matter Ink?", "Oh nothing..just opinions". I could tell they were going to get ready to give me one of those typical normalizations. "You know..opinions are like assholes" "They are best kept in your pants?", "No Ink..opinions are like assholes". "They usually stink when shown inappropriately?". They looked at me and I looked over with my arms tucked under my head and glasses on. "Ink, opinions are like-", "They are usually more receptive to the one whom knows you best?", "What? No..well..yes..but Ink..opinions are like assholes-","If randomly shown in public it becomes awkward?"

I could see the frustration, but it didn’t stop me, "The bigger the asshole the more potent the shit? Sometimes it’s best to pucker in an elevator full of strangers? You only have one, take good care of it? If you’re going to show it make sure its the most beautiful thing in the eyes of the beholder? They do what anyone else who has one can? Some assholes need medical attention? Make sure the toilets clean before you expose it?", "What? That one doesn’t even make sense" They argued. "Sure it does" I replied, "Without a toilet or even the back yard of a bush what’s the use of it?"

We sat up and held the sun for a moment or two and then they tried again, "Opinions are like assholes-". "The bigger the asshole the richer the shit?", "You know Ink, the philosophy I’m trying to share can also be seen as a counter positive", "Oh right, though what comes out of it may have the corrective sense of stress relief not everyone can handle it’s release?", "Just what the hell is your problem..you do know you have an asshole too right?", "Yes, I often sit on it unless I need to use it in a respectable manner." "Always?" they challenged. "I do my best. No asshole is perfect." We managed to spot a butterfly go by and a smile happened across my face. "Are you done Ink? Can I finish?", "Certainly."

"Opinions are like assholes-", "No one wants to wake up to one in their face in the morning..". After a moments pause I tilted my glasses up.."You know.. assholes can also belong to your friends, neighbors, bosses and even strangers in or out your city." "Yeah Ink..everyone's got one. You know you can be an asshole sometimes Ink?", "Now that ones just absurd, no one can be an opinion".

We went back to lay down and enjoy the sun.

- Inked Pen